Money Moves: Why am I so Broke?

By Shelly Cammish 

You can be smart, capable, hardworking… and still feel broke. Not broke like you can’t pay your rent or mortgage. Broke like: you make good money, but you’re still behind. You can’t get traction. You’re always recovering from the last thing. You’re one emergency away from panic. And you’re tired of saying, “After this next month, I’ll catch up…” but somehow you never do.

If that’s you, I want you to hear this clearly before we start: This is not a shame conversation.
This is a pattern conversation.

Women are not broke because they’re “bad with money.” Women are often broke because they’ve been trained to carry everyone else—emotionally, mentally, and financially—while still trying to look like they’re fine. And many women were never taught financial basics beyond “pay your bills” and “don’t get into trouble.”

But paying bills on time isn’t wealth. It’s survival with lipstick on.

So if you’re sick of just getting by, this is for you. We’re going to name the patterns—and then we’re going to break them.

The Real Problem Isn’t Money — It’s Conditioning

Most financial advice starts with math. And yes—money is a math equation.

But women don’t struggle with money because they don’t understand math.
They struggle because of the mental map they’ve built around it.

How much you feel you deserve.
What you believe money means.
What you think it says about you if you ask for it, keep it, charge for your time, or say no.

Women have been conditioned to believe:

• Being “good” matters more than being paid

• Being agreeable matters more than being protected

• Being needed matters more than being secure

• Being generous proves you have worth

And that conditioning shows up in real life:

Undercharging. Overgiving. Staying in jobs too long. Avoiding conflict around money. Saying yes while your bank account is screaming no. Rescuing other people out of guilt.

So if you’ve been thinking, “Why can’t I get ahead?” consider this:

You don’t have a money problem.
You may have a boundary problem… and a belief problem.

The 7 Things That Keep Women Broke

1) You’re Over-Functioning for Everyone Else

Over-functioning looks like paying for things because it’s easier. Carrying family expenses mentally and financially. Covering gaps someone else should cover. Becoming the safety net for adults who refuse to grow up.

And let’s be honest—this shows up with adult kids all the time.

But here’s the truth most women don’t see:

When you become the system, nobody else has to build one.
If you’re always the backup plan, you never get your own plan—and neither do they.

You think you’re helping… but you may be building dependency, not independence.

The shift: Stop funding other people’s comfort at the expense of your future.

Example: your 20-year-old daughter’s car breaks down.
Instead of solving it, try:
“I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. That’s stressful. What’s your plan?”

You can be loving. You can be supportive. You can be her rock.
You don’t have to be her financial rescue team.

If you want independent, confident children—let them solve their own problems.

2) You’re Under-Earning Because You’re Over-Delivering

Many women are top performers but underpaid because they believe:
“If I just do more, they’ll notice.”

But people do not notice what you don’t promote.

Here’s the corporate truth:

You don’t get paid more because you work harder. You get paid more because you’re positioned correctly.

The shift: Tie your work to outcomes and ask for compensation—not compliments.
And get agreements in writing—especially the “promises” about raises and promotions.

3) You’re Avoiding Money Conversations

Women avoid money conversations because they fear looking greedy, sounding ungrateful, being judged, or creating tension.

So instead, women absorb the cost. Stay silent. Hope it changes. Tell themselves “it’s fine.”

But silence is expensive.
It’s always expensive.

Contractors who don’t finish the job. Employers who “forget” the raise. Salespeople who push you past your comfort level. Relationships where you keep paying because it’s easier than addressing it.

The shift: If you can’t talk about money, you can’t direct money.

When you feel uncomfortable, remind yourself: this isn’t personal—it’s math.
And 1 + 1 does not equal 3.
This was the agreement.

Keep the conversation about the subject, not the person. If needed, deliver hard news through email or text so you can stay grounded—and don’t back down.

4) You’re Spending to Soothe

When you’re depleted, you reach for quick relief. Spending to soothe looks like:

• “Little treats” that become lifestyle creep

• Amazon dopamine

• Self-care that turns into self-sabotage

• Upgrading everything because you feel behind

• Trying to keep up with women who have a different financial reality… or you assume they do

And remember this: rich is loud. Wealth is quiet.
Flashy doesn’t mean stable. Often it means leveraged.

This isn’t about discipline. It’s about emotional regulation.

The shift: Don’t ask, “Can I afford it?”
Ask, “What emotion am I trying to buy relief from?”

5) You Don’t Have a System — You Have a Wish

A wish is: “I should save more.”
A system is: automatic transfers, sinking funds, and a plan.

Most women aren’t broke because they spend too much.
They’re broke because they have no structure.

And here’s the truth:

Structure is freedom.
Structure builds wealth while you sleep.

The shift: Create a simple system:

• One bill account

• One spending account

• One savings account

• Automatic transfers on payday

Set it. Forget it. Let the system do the heavy lifting.

6) You’re Trying to Build Wealth Without Protecting Yourself

This shows up in relationships constantly:

Moving in without legal clarity. Combining finances without protection. Stopping work without a plan. Relying on a partner without safeguards. Assuming love equals security.

Love is beautiful.
But love is not a financial plan.

The shift: Protect yourself like you protect everyone else.

7) You Don’t Believe You’re Allowed to Want More

A lot of women believe wanting more is selfish, unrealistic, “too much,” not feminine, not spiritual, or not humble.

So they cap themselves—staying “grateful” instead of getting paid. Shrinking dreams to fit what feels acceptable.

But here’s the truth:

Money doesn’t change who you are. It amplifies what you already are.
Good people are still good people after they get rich.

What changes most?
Sometimes your circle.

The old broke you made certain people feel comfortable. The stable you—especially the wealthy you—can trigger envy, resentment, and accusations like “greedy” or “self-centered” from people who benefited from your lack of boundaries.

The shift: Stop treating your desire like a problem. Treat it like direction.

You deserve happiness and riches. The only limits are the ones you accept.

The “Broke Pattern” Checklist

If you’re stuck, you’re usually stuck in one of these loops:

• You don’t track money — so money disappears

• You don’t set boundaries — so people drain you

• You don’t ask for more — so income stays capped

• You don’t plan — so emergencies feel like disasters

• You soothe with spending — so stress repeats

• You carry guilt — so you keep rescuing

That’s the pattern.

The goal isn’t to become perfect with money.
The goal is to become intentional.

5 Moves to Start Today

1. Track every dollar for 7 days. Awareness is power. Also list every recurring expense.

2. Cancel one subscription you forgot you had. Easy win.

3. Start a $500 “peace fund.” Even $25 per paycheck. Automate savings/investing.

4. Have one money conversation you’ve been avoiding (partner, employer, family, etc.).

5. Write down your safety number: What do you need monthly to feel secure? Then build a budget + automation plan around it. If you want support, coaching sessions are available to build a personalized, automated plan.

Close

If you’ve been feeling stuck, behind, or frustrated, remember:

You are not “bad with money.”
You’re likely carrying patterns you were trained to carry—and you can change them.

When women become financially stable, everything shifts: your confidence, your choices, your peace, your standards, and your future—because money is options.