Why Women Need Advocates for Career Growth

If you’re a professional woman, you’ve probably heard some version of this advice:

“You really need a mentor if you want to move up.”

Leaders say it. HR says it. Books and conferences say it.
And yes, mentorship can be helpful. A mentor gives you guidance, listens to your challenges, and shares what worked for them.

But here’s the truth most women aren’t told:

You don’t just need a mentor. You need an advocate.

Because you’re probably not suffering from a lack of advice.
You’re suffering from a lack of access.

You’re educated. You’re experienced. You’ve already put in the years.
What’s missing is not more information—it’s more visibility in the places where decisions are actually made.

You need someone who:

• Says your name in the room when you’re not there
• Recommends you for opportunities you didn’t even know existed
• Uses their influence and credibility to back you

That’s not a mentor.
That’s an advocate.

In this blog, we’re going to walk through:

• Why mentorship alone often keeps women stuck
• The real difference between a mentor and an advocate
• Why women rarely get advocates (and why men do)
• Five practical steps to attract your first advocate
• How advocacy and self-advocacy work together

By the end, I want you to think differently about your career, your relationships at work, and the kind of support you actually need to move forward.

The Mentorship Myth: Why Advice Isn’t Enough

Let’s start with the hard truth:

Mentorship, on its own, rarely changes a woman’s career.

In some cases, it can even keep you in “development mode” forever:

• You’re always learning, always improving, always getting feedback…
• But you’re not actually moving up.

Mentors say things like:

• “Let me know if you ever need anything.”
• “Happy to grab coffee and talk this through.”
• “You’re doing great. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s kind. It’s supportive.
But it’s not what gets you:

• On the promotion list
• On the short list for a stretch role
• In the conversation for the big project

Women today are often over-mentored and under-sponsored.

You get:

• Coaching, feedback, and “support”
• But not advocacy, access, or influence

You don’t need more coffee chats. You need someone who will take action on your behalf.

What Women Actually Need: An Advocate

So what’s the real difference between a mentor and an advocate?

• A mentor talks to you. They share wisdom, tell stories, help you reflect.
• An advocate talks about you. They use your name in rooms you’re not in. They position you as “ready.”
• A mentor helps you understand your path.
• An advocate helps you advance along it.

An advocate uses their political capital for you. They attach their reputation to yours. They say:

“She’s ready for this role.”
“We should put her in that position.”
“Give her the chance—she’ll deliver.”

And here’s something women are rarely told: Men are decades ahead in the advocacy game. They ask for it. They expect it. They offer it to each other. Women, on the other hand, are usually told to seek guidance, not backing.

Most women are not passed over because they aren’t capable.
They’re passed over because they aren’t visible in the rooms where decisions happen.

The problem isn’t competence. The problem is who is (and isn’t) speaking up for you when you’re not there.

Why Women Rarely Get Advocates

So if advocacy is so powerful, why don’t more women have it?

A few reasons:

1. Women are conditioned to be grateful for access, not to ask for influence.

We’re taught to:

• Be appreciative for time and advice
• Be loyal, humble, and “low maintenance”
• Let our work speak for itself

But here’s the reality:
Work doesn’t always speak for itself. People speak for work. The most competent person doesn’t always get the job. The most visible and well-positioned person often does.

2. We wait to be noticed.

Women often believe that:

• If they perform at a high level, someone will eventually see them
• “The right people” will notice their efforts
• Fairness and meritocracy will win out in the end

I’ve been in executive meetings discussing who gets promoted and who gets moved around in a re-org. And I can tell you:

• Men very often have someone actively advocating for them.
• Women? Far less frequent if at all. Where have all the women in the org gone?
• And yes, the women in the room are more likely to advocate for men verses other women. (That really should be a “WTF” moment.)

3. We confuse support with sponsorship.

You can have people who like you and think you’re excellent. They will tell you your amazing and to keep going…and yet they never once promote your name in a critical discussion.

Mentorship helps prepare you. Advocacy is what helps promote you.

At some point you have to ask yourself:

If no one knows about the impact I’ve had… what has all this effort really been for?

The point of doing all you can do IS to be able to leverage it…men get that…women not so much.

How to Attract an Advocate: 5 Practical Steps

Now the important question: How do I actually get an advocate?

Here are five concrete steps you can take.

1. Get crystal clear on what you want.

Vague desires get vague support.

Instead of:

“I’d like help with my career.” Try: “In the next 12–18 months, I want to move into a Director-level role leading the national sales team.”

Or:

“I want to transition from finance into sales operations so I can use my analytical skills to support our cost-saving initiatives.”

Write it down. Make it specific.

People generally want to help—but they need to know what that looks like.

2. Deliver visible wins (not quiet excellence).

Quiet excellence is a career killer.

Start a “wins list.” This is a living document where you track:

• Projects you led
• Revenue you helped drive
• Costs you reduced
• Processes you improved
• Time you saved the company

Be specific: numbers, percentages, outcomes, timelines.

I start a new wins list every year. It helps you advocate for yourself, makes review season easier, and gives future advocates concrete proof they can use when they speak on your behalf.

3. Build relationships with people who have real influence.

Make a list of people in your organization who hold power.

Not just by title, but by influence:

• Who do people listen to?
• Who “always seems to get their way”?
• Who has the ear of the decision-makers?
• Who gets called into important conversations even when it isn’t their department?

These are the people whose words carry weight. Your goal isn’t to chase them—it’s to build genuine, value-based relationships with them.

4. Make it easy for them to advocate for you.

Advocacy is a lot easier when you do the prep work.

That might look like:

• Sharing short summaries of your wins and projects
• Sending brief, clear updates they can reference
• Being the person they can rely on for accurate information and thoughtful insights

You want to become someone whose name is associated with results, clarity, and reliability. When you do that, you’re not just asking for help—you’re becoming a strategic asset they can confidently put forward.

5. Show loyalty and support (without brown-nosing).

Advocacy is a two-way reputation exchange.

This isn’t about flattery or politics for the sake of it. It’s about:

• Supporting your advocate’s ideas in public
• Adding logic, data, and perspective that strengthens their position
• Helping them look good because you’re prepared and thoughtful

This is not brown-nosing. It’s aligning yourself with someone whose success is tied to your success—and vice versa. People take people with them. If you consistently support them with substance and integrity, they are far more likely to bring you into bigger rooms.

Advocacy vs. Self-Advocacy: You Still Have a Job to Do

Important reality check:

Once you have an advocate, you do not get to sit back and wait for the magic to happen.

I’ve seen this play out:

• I advocate for someone
• They get a shot at a role
• And then they show up unprepared, unsure, or underwhelmed

As an advocate, my job is to help get you in the door and into the selection pool.
Your job is to walk through it and secure the role. Advocates give you opportunities to shine. They do not do the shining for you.

That’s where self-advocacy comes in:

• Owning your achievements
• Communicating your value clearly
• Showing up prepared, informed, and confident

External advocacy gets you chosen, positioned, and elevated. Self-advocacy ensures you deliver once you’re there.

Final Thoughts: You Don’t Need More Mentors — You Need Advocates

You don’t need another well-meaning person telling you to “keep doing what you’re doing.”

You need:

• Visibility
• Access
• Influence

You need someone saying your name in the rooms that matter.

• Mentors guide you.
• Advocates elevate you.

And you deserve elevation.

Ready to Move from Mentored to Backed?

If you’re ready to move beyond mentorship and start building real advocacy around your career, this is exactly the kind of work I do in my coaching program.

We focus on:

• Clarifying what you really want next
• Positioning your experience and wins strategically
• Building an influence and advocacy plan inside your organization
• Strengthening your self-advocacy, so when the door opens, you walk through it with confidence

Share this blog with a woman who deserves an advocate.

We don’t wait for doors to open.
We build them.