5 Ways to Bring Happiness Back Into Your Life

By: Shelly Cammish

Why happiness isn't something you have to wait for—and how positive psychology can help you rediscover the joy in everyday living.

When was the last time you had a day that was simply fun? Not productive, not successful, not filled with accomplishments or responsibilities, but genuinely enjoyable? When was the last time you laughed so hard your stomach hurt, felt excited about something new, or spent an afternoon doing something completely unnecessary simply because it made you happy?

For many women, those moments become increasingly rare as life gets more complicated. Between careers, family obligations, financial pressures, relationships, health concerns, and the constant stream of information reminding us about everything that could possibly go wrong, it's easy to become so consumed with managing life that we forget to actually enjoy it.

Sometimes there isn't even anything catastrophically wrong. You're functioning, paying the bills, getting things done, and meeting your responsibilities. From the outside, your life may look perfectly fine. But somewhere along the way, the excitement disappears. You realize that you're not having very much fun anymore.

I was thinking recently about that carefree feeling we experienced as children. Remember when the world felt enormous and full of possibility? When an ordinary Saturday could become an adventure? When having fun wasn't something you had to schedule, justify, or earn?

As adults, we've become very good at working toward things. We set goals, pursue promotions, manage households, build financial security, and constantly search for ways to improve ourselves. But when was the last time you focused on something as simple as enjoying the life you already have?

We spend so much time trying to build a better life that we sometimes forget to experience the one we're living.

The good news is that positive psychology offers useful insights into how we can create more opportunities for joy, even when life is stressful, uncertain, or far from perfect.

And perhaps the most important lesson is this: joy isn't necessarily going to come looking for you. Sometimes you have to go find it.

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Happiness Isn't a Destination

We have a strange relationship with happiness. We constantly place it somewhere in the future, usually on the other side of something we haven't accomplished yet.

I'll be happy when I lose the weight. When I get the promotion. When I make more money. When I meet the right person. When the kids get through this stage. When the divorce is finalized. When I retire. When things finally calm down.

But here's the problem: life rarely calms down for very long.

You solve one problem, and another appears. You finish one project, and the next begins. The children become more independent, but aging parents may need more support. You reach a financial milestone and discover that your expenses or expectations have changed.

If happiness requires every part of your life to be perfectly organized and under control, you may spend decades waiting for a moment that never arrives.

Psychologists have been studying this question for years. Positive psychology, a field associated with psychologist Martin Seligman, focuses on understanding the experiences, relationships, and behaviors that contribute to human flourishing rather than focusing exclusively on psychological distress.

One of its best-known frameworks is the PERMA model, which identifies five important dimensions of well-being: Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment.

These five pillars help explain why happiness is much more complicated than simply feeling good. We need opportunities to experience pleasure, become absorbed in meaningful activities, build supportive relationships, contribute to something important, and experience personal growth and accomplishment.

We'll explore these five pillars in greater detail in a separate article. But before we begin measuring our well-being and developing strategies for each dimension, I want to focus on something more immediate.

How do we bring a little more happiness into the lives we're already living?

Here are five practical ways to begin.

1. Stop Waiting for Happiness and Schedule Something You Enjoy

I know scheduling joy sounds incredibly unromantic, but consider how we manage everything else we believe is important.

Doctor appointments go on the calendar. Work meetings go on the calendar. Children's activities, hair appointments, household responsibilities, and deadlines all receive designated time.

But happiness? We assume we'll get around to that if there's any time left.

And somehow, there never is.

One of the simplest things you can do to create more joy is to begin treating enjoyment as something that deserves a place in your schedule.

I want you to choose one activity each week that exists primarily because you enjoy doing it.

Maybe it's having dinner with a friend who makes you laugh. Perhaps it's spending Saturday morning wandering through a bookstore, working in your garden, attending a live music event, taking a dance class, or enjoying a leisurely walk with your favorite coffee.

It doesn't need to be expensive, elaborate, or particularly impressive. It simply needs to be something you genuinely look forward to.

And here's the important part: it doesn't need to accomplish anything.

You don't need to turn your hobby into a side business. You don't need to monetize your garden, become an expert painter, or document your afternoon on social media. You don't need to justify taking a class because it might someday advance your career.

For many high-achieving women, this can be surprisingly difficult. We've spent so much of our lives measuring our time according to what we produce that doing something simply for enjoyment can feel wasteful.

But leisure isn't wasted time. Enjoyable experiences are part of a satisfying life.

In positive psychology, intentionally engaging in pleasant activities can help create opportunities for positive emotion. Research on behavioral activation also recognizes the value of deliberately scheduling rewarding activities, particularly when low mood has caused someone to withdraw from things they once enjoyed.

The key is consistency. Rather than waiting for a vacation or a special occasion, begin creating small opportunities for pleasure throughout your ordinary week.

Your happiness deserves a place on your calendar, too.

2. Find Your People—and Pay Attention to How You Feel Around Them

Relationships are one of the major components of psychological well-being, but having more relationships doesn't necessarily mean experiencing greater happiness.

You can have hundreds of social media connections, a busy social calendar, and a large extended family while still feeling emotionally disconnected.

What matters is the quality of those connections.

Think about the people in your life who make you feel completely comfortable being yourself. The friend who makes you laugh until you cry. The person you can sit beside without needing to fill every silence. The people who genuinely celebrate your accomplishments, listen when you're struggling, and make an effort to stay connected.

You know those people. You leave lunch with them and somehow feel better than when you arrived.

You don't feel the need to perform. You aren't managing their emotions throughout the conversation. You don't spend the drive home replaying everything you said or wondering whether you somehow disappointed them.

You can simply be yourself.

Now think about the relationships that leave you feeling drained. Perhaps every conversation revolves around the other person's problems. Maybe you're always the one making plans, checking in, or trying to maintain the connection. Perhaps you feel criticized, judged, or emotionally exhausted after spending time together.

Not every relationship needs to be entertaining or effortless. Healthy relationships involve supporting people through difficult experiences, and even the strongest connections require patience, understanding, and compromise.

But when you're trying to create more joy, it's worth noticing where positive connection naturally exists.

Start investing more intentionally in those relationships.

Call the friend who always makes you laugh. Invite someone to dinner. Reconnect with a person you've genuinely missed. Join a community group or take a class where you can meet people with similar interests.

And don't underestimate the value of small everyday interactions.

Talk to your neighbor. Compliment someone's outfit. Strike up a conversation while waiting for coffee. Smile at someone and ask how their day is going.

Research on social connection suggests that even brief interactions with other people can contribute to feelings of belonging and positive emotion.

We live in a world where we can communicate with hundreds of people without actually connecting meaningfully with anyone.

Sometimes joy isn't something you need to discover on your own.

Sometimes happiness is another human being sitting across the table.

3. Stop Feeding Your Brain a Steady Diet of Things That Make You Miserable

This one may be uncomfortable because it requires us to look honestly at how we're spending our attention.

How much news are you consuming every day? How much time are you spending scrolling through social media, reading angry comments, watching arguments, or comparing your life to people you don't actually know?

How often do you pick up your phone because you're bored and put it down twenty minutes later feeling irritated, anxious, or inadequate?

We have access to more information than any previous generation, and much of that information is designed to capture our attention through emotional stimulation.

Political arguments, financial crises, tragic events, celebrity scandals, and endless commentary about everything wrong with society are available twenty-four hours a day.

Being informed is important, but being continuously emotionally activated is something entirely different.

There will always be difficult things happening somewhere in the world. If you allow your mind unlimited exposure to every tragedy, disagreement, and crisis, it's easy to begin feeling as though everything is terrible all the time.

And social media can add another layer of frustration.

We compare our ordinary lives to someone else's carefully selected highlights. We follow people whose opinions consistently irritate us. We consume content that makes us feel less attractive, less successful, less wealthy, or less accomplished.

Sometimes we're voluntarily inviting negativity into our lives without recognizing that we have a choice.

Think about it this way: if somebody's social media account irritates you every single morning, you're essentially inviting that person into your kitchen for breakfast.

Why are you doing that?

You wouldn't necessarily invite somebody into your home every morning just so they could make you angry, criticize your choices, or remind you of everything you don't have.

Yet we routinely give people that kind of access to our attention through our phones.

Protecting your mental well-being doesn't mean ignoring current events or refusing to engage with difficult issues. It means being intentional about how much exposure is useful and when additional exposure is simply increasing your distress.

Maybe you check the news once or twice a day rather than constantly refreshing headlines. Perhaps you unfollow accounts that consistently trigger anger or comparison. Maybe you establish phone-free periods in the morning or evening.

And consider replacing some of that consumption with something that actually makes you feel good.

Listen to music. Read a novel. Spend time outdoors. Call a friend. Work on a creative project. Learn something interesting that has absolutely nothing to do with what's going wrong in the world.

Your attention is valuable. Be selective about what gets access to it.

4. Create Tiny Moments of Joy Instead of Waiting for Big Ones

I think one of the reasons we struggle to experience happiness is that we're often looking for it in the wrong size.

We're waiting for something significant.

The vacation. The promotion. The new relationship. The birthday celebration. The big purchase. The perfect weekend.

Those experiences can be wonderful, and there's nothing wrong with looking forward to them.

But most of your life doesn't happen on vacation.

Most of your life happens on a Tuesday.

It's the cup of coffee you drink before the household wakes up. The music playing while you're making dinner. The dog practically losing its mind because you've returned home. The unexpected text that makes you laugh. The sunlight coming through your kitchen window on a beautiful morning.

It's fresh sheets, a great meal, the smell of rain, or a ridiculous conversation with your child.

It's hearing a song you loved twenty years ago while you're grocery shopping and suddenly remembering a wonderful time in your life.

These moments are easy to miss because they're ordinary.

But ordinary doesn't mean insignificant.

Positive psychology explores a practice called savoring, which involves deliberately noticing, appreciating, and extending positive experiences.

Rather than allowing enjoyable moments to pass without much attention, savoring encourages us to become more aware of them.

Imagine you're sitting outside on a beautiful evening. The weather is perfect, the air feels wonderful, and for a brief moment you have absolutely nowhere you need to be.

Instead of immediately checking your phone or mentally organizing tomorrow's responsibilities, pause.

Notice how good the moment feels.

Allow yourself to appreciate it.

You might simply think, "This is nice. I'm happy right now."

That moment doesn't need to become something bigger. You don't need to photograph it, share it, or turn it into a productivity exercise.

Just enjoy it.

Research on savoring suggests that deliberately attending to positive experiences can help people experience and appreciate positive emotions more fully.

And what I love about this practice is that it doesn't require major lifestyle changes or financial resources.

You don't necessarily need dramatically more good things to happen before you can experience more joy.

Sometimes you need to become better at recognizing the good things already happening.

Of course, savoring doesn't mean pretending difficult circumstances don't exist. You can have legitimate worries and still appreciate a beautiful afternoon.

Both experiences can be true.

Your life is largely made up of ordinary moments. Start collecting the good ones.

5. Do Something That Makes You Feel Alive Again

This final strategy is a little different from the others because it isn't necessarily about comfort or relaxation.

It's about energy, curiosity, and excitement.

I want you to think about something you've wanted to try but haven't gotten around to doing.

Maybe you've always wanted to learn how to dance, play tennis, travel somewhere new, take a pottery class, learn another language, or start a garden.

Perhaps you've wanted to join a social group, go paddleboarding, attend a concert, volunteer for a cause, or take yourself out to dinner somewhere interesting.

What's stopping you?

Sometimes the answer is practical. We have responsibilities, financial limitations, and real constraints on our time.

But sometimes the answer is that we've simply stopped exploring.

As we become older and settle into routines, our worlds can gradually become smaller.

Work. Home. Responsibilities. Phone. Sleep. Repeat.

We visit the same places, see the same people, have similar conversations, and repeat the same routines week after week.

Familiarity can be comforting, but too much sameness can also leave life feeling predictable and emotionally flat.

Novel experiences give us opportunities to learn, explore, engage our curiosity, and experience positive anticipation.

And sometimes the enjoyment begins before the activity itself.

Think about the excitement you feel when you've booked a trip somewhere you've never been. You research restaurants, look at photographs, imagine what you'll do, and begin looking forward to the experience.

That anticipation can become part of the pleasure.

You don't need to make dramatic changes to bring novelty into your life.

Try a restaurant you've never visited. Take a different route on your morning walk. Attend a local event. Sign up for a class. Invite someone new to join you for dinner.

And perhaps most importantly, stop assuming you're too old to begin something unfamiliar.

You are allowed to be a beginner at fifty. You are allowed to be terrible at something while you're learning. You are allowed to try an activity without knowing whether you'll enjoy it.

You don't need to reinvent your entire life.

You simply need to remind yourself that you're still capable of having new experiences within it.

There are places you haven't visited, people you haven't met, songs you haven't heard, experiences you haven't tried, and things you haven't laughed about yet.

Some of the happiest moments of your life may not have happened yet. But you have to keep participating in your life long enough to experience them.

Happiness and Hardship Can Exist at the Same Time

Perhaps the most important lesson in finding joy again is recognizing that you don't have to wait for every problem in your life to disappear before you're allowed to be happy.

This is something I think many women struggle with.

When life is difficult, we can almost feel guilty for experiencing happiness.

Maybe you're going through a divorce, and you have a wonderful evening with friends. Perhaps you're worried about your career, but you spend a beautiful Saturday enjoying time with your family. Maybe you're grieving someone you loved and unexpectedly find yourself laughing at something funny.

Sometimes we question whether it's appropriate to enjoy ourselves when we're dealing with something painful.

But joy doesn't invalidate hardship.

You can be worried about your future and enjoy today.

You can miss someone and still experience happiness with other people.

You can have financial concerns and enjoy a beautiful afternoon outdoors.

You can feel sadness about one part of your life while experiencing genuine gratitude for another.

Human emotions aren't mutually exclusive. We can experience complicated combinations of feelings, and positive experiences don't necessarily erase or diminish painful ones.

In fact, maintaining opportunities for positive emotion can be particularly valuable during difficult seasons.

Positive psychology doesn't suggest that we should ignore pain or pretend our circumstances are better than they are.

It encourages us to recognize that suffering isn't the entirety of human experience.

Neither is happiness.

We get both.

Life includes disappointment, uncertainty, loss, and difficult transitions. But it also includes connection, beauty, humor, accomplishment, love, and unexpected moments of delight.

Perhaps a good life isn't one where nothing bad ever happens.

Maybe it's a life where, despite the inevitable challenges, we remain capable of finding our way back to the good.

Joy is not disrespectful to your struggle. Joy is part of what helps us get through it.

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Go Find Some Happy

If you've reached a point where life feels more like a series of responsibilities than something you're genuinely enjoying, I want to encourage you to make a change.

Not necessarily a dramatic change.

You don't need to quit your job, move across the country, end a relationship, or completely reinvent your life.

Start by making a little more room for happiness in the life you already have.

Put one enjoyable activity on your calendar every week. Spend more intentional time with people who make you feel good. Pay attention to what you're allowing into your mind through news, social media, and everyday conversations. Begin noticing those small moments that make ordinary life enjoyable.

And challenge yourself to try something new.

Something interesting. Something playful. Something you've been curious about but haven't given yourself permission to pursue.

If you don't know what makes you happy anymore, that's okay. You don't have to figure everything out immediately.

Get curious.

Try different activities. Meet new people. Revisit things you enjoyed years ago. Pay attention to how you feel.

And recognize that what brings you joy today may not be the same thing that made you happy twenty years ago.

Perhaps you're not trying to get back to the woman you used to be.

Maybe you're discovering what makes this version of you happy.

Because the world will always provide plenty of things to worry about. There will be another difficult headline, another financial concern, another responsibility, and another problem that requires your attention.

But there will also be another beautiful sunset, another dinner with friends, another unexpected laugh, another song that makes you want to dance, another place to explore, and another opportunity to connect with somebody wonderful.

The question is whether we're making enough room in our lives to experience those things.

We get one life.

One opportunity to explore, learn, connect, laugh, love, and enjoy the incredible range of experiences that come with being human.

And while we can't control everything that happens to us, we can become more intentional about creating opportunities for happiness along the way.

So stop waiting for everything to become perfect.

Stop treating joy as something you'll get around to after you've finished taking care of everyone and everything else.

And stop assuming that happiness has to arrive in some enormous, life-changing moment.

Sometimes happiness is something we practice noticing, protecting, and creating right in the middle of an imperfect life.

You deserve to have some fun while you're here. So go find some happy.