By Shelly Cammish

Discernment is the ability to judge well—to read the temperature of a room, assess people and dynamics accurately, and make a strategic move without needing to justify it to everyone.

You might recognize the term from biblical translations: the ability to distinguish, separate, and determine wisely. In the workplace, it looks like this:

• Knowing what to say
• Knowing when to say it
• Knowing how to say it
• And knowing what not to say at all

We’ve all been in rooms where someone says the thing they should not have said—unfiltered, unaware, or ego-driven. Discernment is the skill that keeps you from becoming that person… and helps you become the person people trust.

Because here’s the truth: Over-explaining doesn’t make you clearer. It often makes you look less certain.

And executive presence? It’s judged by clarity and restraint, not the number of words you use.

What Discernment at Work Really Looks Like

Discernment is decision-making with awareness. It’s your ability to sense what’s happening beneath the words:

• Power dynamics
• Priorities
• Resistance
• Unspoken fears
• Hidden agendas
• Timing
• Hierarchy

Discernment is not being fake. It’s not people-pleasing. It’s strategy.

Because you can be right and still lose the room. You can have the best idea and still get dismissed. You can be talented and still get underestimated.

And let me say it clearly: the smartest people do not always get the promotion. The people with the most discernment often do.

Discernment helps you stop treating work like a fairness contest. It teaches you to see the workplace for what it is: a human system—with emotions, egos, incentives… and yes, politics.

Politics is simply people making decisions with imperfect information and personal incentives. Discernment is your ability to see that clearly.

Why Women Don’t Use Discernment Enough (Even When They Have It)

Women often over-explain because we’re managing risk—the risk of being labeled:

• Too aggressive
• Too emotional
• Difficult
• Intimidating
• “Not a team player”

So we add “safety words”  and disclaimers to protect ourselves:

• “This might be a dumb question, but…”
• “Just to give you context…”
• “I could be wrong…”

I’ll say it again: stop using disclaimers.

Over-explaining communicates:

• Uncertainty
• Low status
• A need for approval

Discernment helps you choose restraint on purpose—not because you’re shrinking, but because you’re strategic.

The “Read the Room” Framework: 5 Tactics to Build Discernment

If you want to move smarter at work, start here.

1) Who has the real power here?

Not the org chart. Not the title. The real power.
Who decides? Who influences? Who’s protecting something?

If you don’t know, dig—before you walk into the room with an idea.

2) What does this room care about today?

Every room has a real priority—and it’s rarely the agenda topic.

It’s usually one of these:

• Speed
• Cost
• Optics
• Control

Discernment spots which one is true today, and who cares most.
And here’s the key: don’t play to the cares of the smallest person. Play to the power.

3) What’s the emotional temperature?

If the room is defensive, don’t lead with critique.
If they’re rushed, don’t lead with detail.

Even in a scheduled meeting, you cannot assume someone is in the right state of mind to receive your ask.

Use a quick temperature-check:

• “Is now still a good time to discuss this?”
• “If you’ve got a minute, I’d like to run a proposal by you.”
• “Before I jump in—are you in a place to talk through this?”

4) What are people afraid will happen?

Behind resistance is fear—of:

• Blame
• Loss
• Exposure
• Change
• Additional workload
• Loss of relevance

If you don’t address fears early, they show up later as walls and blockades.
Nothing kills a good idea faster than ignoring what your people are afraid of—especially if you’re a senior leader.

5) What’s the smallest “yes” you need right now?

Don’t try to sell the whole idea if the room isn’t ready for it.

Get the next door open:

• “I’d like to propose a direction. If you agree, I’ll bring the detail.”
• “Can we align on the principle first?”

Don’t explain how the pyramid gets built before you get approval for the pyramid.

How to Handle Objections and Pivot Without Losing Your Power

Sometimes you’ll feel the room shift. That’s where discernment becomes real-time leadership.

Move #1: Lead with the conclusion

Start with: “Here’s my recommendation.”
Use this structure:

Recommendation → Reason → Risk → Request

This keeps you clear, confident, and executive.

Move #2: Name what’s happening—lightly

When something feels off and you’re not sure why:

• “I’m sensing hesitation—what’s the main concern?”

You’re diagnosing, not defending.

Move #3: Be strategically brief

You don’t owe everyone your process.

Try:

• “I’ve looked at three options—this is the best.”
• “The value is in the direction; I’ll bring detail once we align.”

Your value is in discernment, not volume.

Scripts You Can Use This Week (Save These)

Use these when you feel yourself slipping into over-explaining:

1. “I can go deeper, but before I do—what decision are we making right now?”
2. “I see it differently. The tradeoff I’m worried about is ____. If we’re comfortable with that, I’m aligned.”
3. “What would need to be true for us to move forward?”
4. “My recommendation is ____. The reason is ____. The risk is ____. What I need is ____.”
5. “Let me simplify: the point is ____.”

Final Takeaways

Discernment is not silence. It’s choosing your moment and speaking with precision.

Remember this:

1. Reading the room is strategic intelligence—and like any strategy skill, it takes time to master. You’ll get it wrong sometimes. That’s normal.
2. Over-explaining signals uncertainty. Most rooms are won over by less, not more.
3. Lead with the conclusion, name dynamics lightly, and use strategic brevity. Share the “shiny win” first—get people excited about the what. You can bury the how for now.

Because people don’t follow who talks the most.
They follow who sees clearly and moves decisively.

If this post helped you, share it with a friend who needs a boost in strategy and executive presence. And as always—be bold, be courageous, and keep learning.